Up and Going Again!

This is the only blog that will be this long. I had to delete my last one. So here is all the blogs I had before starting with the very first one being at the top and the lastest blog being at the bottom.

Where do I begin? My husband and I over the last two years have been trying to adopt a baby.We have started of going through our church to adopt a baby. We had filled out the application forms and paid the fee. Since we live in Quebec Canada we needed to go through the government since it was looked at as international adoptions.

This was fine to us. So we started to get all the important papers that we needed and looked into getting a home study done. Within a couple of months into the process we were informed by our church agency that they could no longer service my husband and I. Their reasons were that their office had changed rules and could no longer service people out side the province of Ontario. So they gave back our application fee and that was it.

Than my husband and I thought of overseas adoption. That came to a stop very quickly when we found out how much it would cost. It's not that we can't afford to look after a baby, but coming up with $30-65,000 is something we don't have.

After we gave up looking for awhile until we started to research the Internet for other options. We came across our town's Youth Protection Services program and decided to look into. They had a program which was called the 'mix bank'.

It was a fostering program with a view to adopt. It was a local program and the only cost that we would be responsible for would be the cost of the lawyer, court fees and adoption fees if and when it came to that point. So we called them up and went for the orientations, which were once a week for six weeks for 3 hours each.

At the end of the orientations we filled out the application, and got a home study done. After checking everything with us we were finally accepted. My husband and I were thrilled. Finally we were going somewhere and getting closer to getting a little baby.During the home study and waiting for answers of being accepted I had started to buy all baby stuff.

By the time we were accepted I had everything I needed. Also just before we got accepted we were introduced to a little girl who was older than a baby. She was a preschooler. We were given information on who she was and a bit of her background. As well we were told to think about if we would want her.There was no doubt in our minds that we wanted her. Even though I had gotten all the baby stuff we still said yes to this little girl.

After we got accepted we had made out the plan on getting her home. We got the plan and dates we were going to meet her and the final date that she would be home. We started to meet the little girl and it was lovely. She was a very out going little girl, very well spoken, a very girly girl, very intelligent, and very beautiful little girl.

It seemed all was going well until....We were spoken by her educator who was telling us that my husband and I are to reserved, not showing enough affectionate in public and if we don't do that how is she going to know what love is. So we did our best to do what was asked of us, than they asked for a meeting with us.

When we got to the meeting, it felt like more like an attack against me and my husband. They had said things like; we asked you to show more emotions and I saw that, but was that real or fake. When we talked about emotions they told us they didn't believe us. They told us they felt like we were too professional to talk to, that we were not friendly enough, that it seemed like we had to much structure in our day.

But when we went for the orientation we were told that people who get refused are those that; don't listen, who are argumentative, don't take advise, don't work on things that they were asked to, overly friendly, gave to much information, etc.

It seemed like no matter what we did it didn't seem like it was good enough to them. After the meeting they said they would get back to us and let us know what they feel. The next day I get a call from our case worker telling us that they have decided to end the transition with the little girl with no reasons. Just saying that if we want to know how they came up with their decision to make an appointment in one two weeks. When I asked if it was over just with the little girl or everything with them I was told they would tell us IF we made the appointment to see them in the next two weeks.

That night when my husband came home I told him what had happen. I left an email and he called the same night to our case worker to say we wanted the meeting and still we have not gotten a call back stating when the appointment will be.

We got an appointment to see our case worker's manager to see how they came to their decision only because my husband made the calls to get one since our case worker has not done it for us yet.Even during the last bit the case workers didn't seem to feel for us. They knew we left work already to have this little girl come in, they knew that my husband had to beg for time off to visit the little girl and they act like it was nothing for them even when I started to break down in their office.

Now my husband and I are waiting to go to our appointment to see what is up. Also we have already started to look into other adoption agencies to start the process again. It feels like we are at the beginning again.But I believe that there is still that sweet baby out there that is our waiting for us. We just got to be patient enough and the time will come when we have that baby girl or boy in our home.

we had our meeting and at least me and shawn feel at peace now and understand better why they had to end it. Yes its more over protection on their end and my not sound right to some people but I accepted the explanation that we got from the manager.Its the same thing, they were concerned about the way shawn and i communicated with one anther and showing eye cues towards each other. That was on of their biggest concerns.

Cause since Lilly was 4years old all ready she would have to learn what kind of cues we are giving to each other (me and shawn) and they were concerned that she wouldn't learn it or pick it up. that for her at her age it had to be very clear for her to understand and learn that we do love each other and can communicate with one another well.

She said that it was mainly her fault for pushing Lilly on us cause our first worker thought that our best matches would be with the younger children (the babies, which we wanted in the first place). But she was trying to match Lilly culturally and she said that sometimes they focus on that a little too much.

As well she said that they had three other placements where the child was placed in the home and the parents where kind of like us and the child was not adapting well and they had to move the children out, and they (case workers) didn't want to have that happen to Lilly. Shawn did hand in the letters we got and told her this is for her or anyone else to get a better view on who we are as people and not just what everyone sees when they first meet us.

As well he read her the letter he wrote to everyone to show how he felt.The manager that we say today told us that we are still able to foster to adopt that our file was not closed of, that we are getting a different case worker, and that the next child we get will be in the age bracket of 0-years old. As well that it can take anywhere from 1month to few months before we hear about a new child. So that is about it. That is the news that we have.

There is nothing more that my husband and I want in the world than to be parents.We feel that we have been trying everything since 2005. But today maybe the turning point for us. We finally got a call from our new case worker. We are trying to set up an appointment for next week so we can get the ball rolling again. I think after we meet with her all we have to wait for is a child to be presented to us and I hope that won't be to long after since we were told that there are babies in care who may be adoptable.

Well my husband and I had our first meeting with our new case worker yesterday. Oh man. What a difference in people. I love her already. She is a very sweet person and easy going. She is easy to talk to and is laid back and relaxed. She is around my me and my husband's age.Now all that we are waiting for is for her to tell her manager that she met with us (which I am sure that would be done by this week or by the end of next week) and we now play the waiting game. Once they have a baby that matches what we want we will get a call from our case worker and we will have to meet to learn about the new baby that could be ours if we say yes and if we say yes then we help to move the little baby into our home with us.We are not sure on how long this will take. It can take a little as one month to a few months.I am sure praying for it to take a little as one month.

He came to us last night. We have our little baby boy, 10mths at 20lbs. Is is the joy in our life. I feel that our family is complete with him in our home. The feelings of being a mom is something I just can't explain but sure think all you mothers who have adopted knows how I am feeling right now.

Well its been a month since we got our little guy. He is just doing so well. He is growing really fast and has begun doing lots of stuff. Its so much fun watching him grow.He is starting to crawl, and is starting to figure out how to stand up. He is able to hold his bottle, go into a sitting position, play, interact, talk, and can almost wave by himself goodbye.He loves to talk, go swimming, play with other children, go for walks, go to the parks, being around people, being sung to, and playing games such as peek a boo.He is such a joy to have. He is always in a good mood and never cries unless there is a real reason.He is growing so much and gaining weight. He is right where he should be.I am so happy that he has blessed our life.